“Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.”
My Notes
What Does 1 Corinthians 7:5 Mean?
Paul gives practical counsel for married couples: don't deprive each other sexually except by mutual consent, for a limited time, for the purpose of prayer. And then come back together — because Satan will exploit the vulnerability created by abstinence.
The verb "defraud" (apostereō) means to rob, to deprive of what's owed. Paul treats sexual availability in marriage as a mutual obligation — neither spouse has sole authority over their own body (verse 4). Unilateral withholding is a form of theft.
The conditions for abstinence are specific: consent (both agree), time (it's temporary), purpose (prayer, not punishment), and return (they come together again). The temporary abstinence is a spiritual discipline, not a weapon. And the reason for returning is practical: prolonged abstinence creates vulnerability to temptation, and Satan is watching for the gap.
Reflection Questions
- 1.How does Paul's treatment of intimacy as a mutual obligation (not just a desire) challenge modern assumptions?
- 2.Where might 'defrauding' be happening in your marriage — withholding what belongs to your spouse?
- 3.Does the frank connection between marital neglect and Satanic temptation surprise you?
- 4.How do the conditions (consent, temporary, for prayer, return) distinguish healthy discipline from harmful withholding?
Devotional
Don't deprive each other. Except by agreement. For a time. For prayer. And then come back together. Because Satan is watching.
Paul's counsel is remarkably practical — and remarkably countercultural, in both his time and ours. He treats physical intimacy in marriage as a mutual gift and a mutual responsibility. Neither spouse owns their body independently. Both have a claim. Both have a duty. Unilateral withholding isn't just frustrating. Paul calls it defrauding — robbing your partner of what belongs to them.
The conditions for temporary abstinence are specific and limited: both consent (not one person deciding for both). It's temporary (not indefinite). It's for prayer (not for punishment, manipulation, or passive aggression). And it ends — they come back together.
The reason for the return is Satan. Not romance. Not obligation. Satan. Paul is bluntly honest about the spiritual vulnerability that unresolved sexual tension creates. Extended deprivation in marriage doesn't produce holiness. It produces opportunity for the enemy. Satan tempts you through your unmet needs. And a marriage where legitimate needs aren't met is a marriage where illegitimate alternatives become attractive.
This is pastoral wisdom at its most practical: protect your marriage by honoring the mutual gift. The enemy isn't theoretical. The temptation isn't hypothetical. And the defense isn't more spiritual than it sounds: come back together. Because the gap you create through neglect is the gap Satan walks through.
Commentary
Trusted original commentary from respected historical Bible scholars and theologians.
Defraud ye not one the other,.... By withholding due benevolence, denying the use of the marriage bed, refusing to pay…
Defraud ye not ... - Of the right mentioned above. Withdraw not from the society of each other. Except it be with…
Defraud ye not one the other - What ye owe thus to each other never refuse paying, unless by mutual consent; and let…
The apostle comes now, as a faithful and skilful casuist, to answer some cases of conscience which the Corinthians had…
that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer The best MSS., most of the Fathers, and many of the best versions,…
Cross References
Related passages throughout Scripture