“But if any widow have children or nephews, let them learn first to shew piety at home , and to requite their parents: for that is good and acceptable before God.”
My Notes
What Does 1 Timothy 5:4 Mean?
Paul instructs that widows with children or grandchildren should first receive care from their own family. The family's responsibility is described as "piety at home" (eusebeo — to show reverence, to honor through action) and "requiting their parents" (amoibe — repayment, returning what was received). The children are paying back what the parents invested.
The phrase "piety at home" (literally, "to be pious toward one's own household") places domestic responsibility before religious activity. The first place your faith should be visible is in how you treat your family — specifically, how you care for aging parents. Piety that performs in public but neglects parents at home isn't genuine.
The word "requite" (amoibe — to return, to repay) frames family care as reciprocity: the parents invested in the children; now the children return the investment. The care flows back the direction it originally came from. What was given downward (parent to child) is now returned upward (child to parent).
Reflection Questions
- 1.What does 'piety at home' look like practically for you right now?
- 2.How does Paul's instruction to requite (repay) parents challenge the modern tendency toward parental isolation?
- 3.Where has public religious activity replaced private family responsibility in your life?
- 4.What would your parent(s) say if asked whether your faith shows up at home?
Devotional
Take care of your mother. Before you do anything else religious, take care of your mother. Paul says the first expression of piety isn't in the church building — it's in your family home. And the first people to receive your devotion aren't strangers — they're the parents who raised you.
The word "requite" means repay. Your parents gave you years of care, provision, worry, and sacrifice. Now it's your turn to return the investment. The arrow of care that pointed downward (parent → child) now points upward (child → parent). The debt is real, and Paul says paying it is "good and acceptable before God."
"Piety at home" is Paul's priority-setting. Before your charity. Before your church service. Before your community involvement. Before your mission trips. Before any public expression of faith — be pious at home. The person who neglects their parent while serving at church has their priorities inverted. God values your care for your mother over your service in his house.
This hits hard in a culture where parents are increasingly isolated from their children. Nursing homes aren't inherently wrong, but the principle beneath this verse is: the family is the first unit of care. Before the church steps in. Before the government provides. Before any institution takes responsibility — the children and grandchildren are accountable.
What does piety at home look like for you right now? Not theoretically — practically. Is there a parent who needs a phone call, a visit, a meal, a conversation? Paul says that's not just a nice thing to do. It's piety. And it starts at home.
Commentary
Trusted original commentary from respected historical Bible scholars and theologians.
But if any widow have children or nephews,.... Such are not widows indeed; they are not desolate, or alone, or without…
But if any widow have children - Who would be dependent on her care, and who might themselves contribute to her support.…
But if any widow have children or nephews - This shows that widows indeed are those that have neither children nor…
Directions are here given concerning the taking of widows into the number of those who were employed by the church and…
children or nephews Rather, grandchildren, -nephews" no longer having this meaning as in the time of Jeremy Taylor, who…
Cross References
Related passages throughout Scripture