“He that answereth a matter before he heareth it, it is folly and shame unto him.”
My Notes
What Does Proverbs 18:13 Mean?
Solomon identifies a common but devastating error: answering before you've heard the full matter. This isn't just poor communication—it's "folly and shame." The person who responds before listening has committed a double failure: foolishness (making judgments without information) and shame (publicly revealing their lack of wisdom).
The Hebrew word for "heareth" (shama) means more than just receiving sound waves. It means to attend to, to understand, to fully apprehend. Solomon isn't just saying "wait your turn to talk." He's saying "don't respond until you've genuinely understood what's being communicated." The problem isn't premature speech—it's insufficient listening.
This proverb applies to every arena of human interaction: relationships, leadership, parenting, conflict resolution, counseling, and decision-making. The person who answers before hearing has pre-loaded their response based on assumptions rather than facts. They've decided what's happening before they actually know what's happening. And the result is always the same: folly and shame.
Reflection Questions
- 1.How often do you answer before fully hearing? In conversations, in conflicts, in decision-making?
- 2.What drives the impulse to respond before listening—impatience, arrogance, anxiety, or something else?
- 3.Can you think of a specific instance where answering before hearing created folly and shame in your life?
- 4.What would it look like to practice genuine listening this week—hearing the full matter before offering any response?
Devotional
"He that answereth a matter before he heareth it, it is folly and shame unto him." Solomon is describing something you've probably done this week: responded to a situation before fully understanding it. Jumped to conclusions. Offered advice before hearing the whole story. Made a judgment before gathering the facts.
It feels efficient. It feels decisive. It feels like you're on top of things. Solomon says it's folly and shame. Both. Not just a mistake but a double failure—you've acted foolishly and you've embarrassed yourself, even if you don't realize it yet.
The root issue isn't talking too much (though that's often the symptom). It's listening too little. When you answer before hearing, you've decided that your assumption is more reliable than the actual information you haven't bothered to receive. That's arrogance wearing the costume of efficiency.
In relationships, this is devastating. When your partner starts telling you about a problem and you jump to solutions before they've finished—that's answering before hearing. When your friend shares a struggle and you immediately compare it to your own—that's answering before hearing. When you form an opinion about a situation based on partial information and then act on that opinion—folly and shame.
The remedy is simple but difficult: close your mouth and open your ears. Listen until you've actually heard—not just the words, but the meaning behind them. Only then respond. The moment of silence between their last word and your first is where wisdom lives.
Commentary
Trusted original commentary from respected historical Bible scholars and theologians.
He that answereth a matter before he heareth it,.... Who is impatient, and cannot wait to hear it out, but breaks in…
See here how men often expose themselves by that very thing by which they hope to gain applause. 1. Some take a pride in…
answereth a matter Rather, giveth answer, R.V. "Heb. returneth a word," A.V. marg. Compare:
"Answer not before thou hast…
Cross References
Related passages throughout Scripture