“Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.”
My Notes
What Does Exodus 20:12 Mean?
God commands the foundation of all human society: honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.
Honour (kaved) thy father and thy mother — the word kaved means to make heavy, to give weight to, to treat as significant. The root gives us the word kavod (glory). To honour parents is to give them weight — to treat them as weighty, significant, worthy of respect. The command is not merely to obey (though obedience is included). It is to honour — to regard with the gravity and significance that the parent-child relationship demands.
Thy father and thy mother — both parents are named. In patriarchal societies, the father's authority was assumed. The explicit inclusion of the mother elevates her to equal honour. The command is not about gender hierarchy. It is about the parental office — both parents, equally honoured.
This is the fifth commandment — the first with a promise (Ephesians 6:2). It is also the hinge commandment: commandments 1-4 govern the relationship with God. Commandments 6-10 govern relationships with other people. The fifth commandment — honouring parents — bridges the two: parents represent God's authority in the home. Honouring them is connected to honouring God.
That thy days may be long upon the land — the promise is longevity in the promised land. The connection between family honour and national stability is deliberate: a society that honours its parents is a society that endures. When the foundational human relationship (parent-child) is respected, the entire social order is strengthened. When it is despised, the society collapses.
Which the LORD thy God giveth thee — the land is a gift. The longevity in the gift is connected to the obedience of the recipients. The land is given freely. The enjoyment of the land depends on how the people who receive it treat the most basic human institution: the family.
Paul quotes this commandment in Ephesians 6:2-3, applying it to the church: honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise.
Reflection Questions
- 1.What does 'honour' (give weight to, treat as significant) demand beyond simple obedience?
- 2.Why is honouring parents the bridge between the God-ward and human-ward commandments?
- 3.How does the promise of longevity connect family honour to societal stability?
- 4.How do you honour parents who are imperfect — and what does the command require in complicated family situations?
Devotional
Honour thy father and thy mother. Honour — not merely obey. Give weight to. Treat as significant. Regard with the gravity that the relationship demands. Your parents — however imperfect, however flawed — hold a position that God commands you to honour. The command is not conditional on their worthiness. It is grounded in their role.
Father and mother. Both named. Both equally honoured. The command does not privilege one parent over the other. Both are weighty. Both deserve the respect that this commandment requires. The inclusion of the mother in a patriarchal society is deliberate — God elevates both parents to the same status of honour.
That thy days may be long upon the land. The promise is stability — personal and national. A society that honours parents is a society that lasts. When the foundational relationship (parent-child) is treated with respect, everything built on that foundation holds. When it is despised, everything crumbles. The longevity is not magic. It is the natural result of a social order that values its most basic institution.
The fifth commandment is the bridge between the God-ward commands (1-4) and the human-ward commands (6-10). Parents stand in a unique position: they represent divine authority in the home. Honouring them is the training ground for honouring every other authority — including God himself. The child who learns to honour parents learns to honour God. The child who despises parents is learning to despise authority itself.
How do you honour your parents? Not just when they are easy to honour. When they are difficult. When they have failed. When the relationship is complicated. The command does not say 'honour perfect parents.' It says honour thy father and thy mother. The honour is for the office, even when the person in the office is imperfect.
This is the first commandment with a promise. The promise says: the way you treat the people who gave you life affects the length and quality of the life you live.
Commentary
Trusted original commentary from respected historical Bible scholars and theologians.
Honour thy father and thy mother, &c. Which is the fifth commandment of the decalogue, but is the first commandment with…
The Hebrew name which is rendered in our King James Version as the ten commandments occurs in Exo 34:28; Deu 4:13; Deu…
Honor thy father and thy mother - There is a degree of affectionate respect which is owing to parents, that no person…
We have here the laws of the second table, as they are commonly called, the last six of the ten commandments,…
The fifthcommandment. Honour to be paid to parents. Cf. in H Lev 19:3. The position accorded to parents is a high one:…
Cross References
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