“And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican.”
My Notes
What Does Matthew 18:17 Mean?
Jesus outlines the final step in His process for resolving conflict between believers: if the person won't listen to you privately (verse 15), or with witnesses (verse 16), then tell it to the church. If they won't listen to the church, treat them as a heathen and publican — an outsider.
The process is escalating but always aimed at restoration, not punishment. Private conversation first. Witnesses second. The church third. Only after three attempts at reconciliation does the relationship change. And even "heathen and publican" isn't a sentence of permanent exile — Jesus spent His ministry seeking out heathens and publicans.
The phrase "let him be unto thee" is personal — this is how you relate to them, not a formal excommunication decree. The relationship shifts because the person has refused every avenue of reconciliation. They haven't been rejected. They've rejected every attempt to reach them.
Reflection Questions
- 1.Have you followed Jesus' three-step process for conflict — or do you tend to skip straight to withdrawal or public confrontation?
- 2.How does knowing Jesus treated 'heathens and publicans' with love change what 'treat them as outsiders' means?
- 3.Why does Jesus build three attempts at reconciliation into the process before any separation?
- 4.Is there a relationship where you need to go back to step one (private conversation) rather than escalating?
Devotional
Tell the church. And if they won't hear the church — treat them as an outsider.
Jesus' process for conflict resolution is exhaustive before it's decisive. Three steps. Three attempts at reconciliation. Three chances to hear, to change, to be restored. And only after all three have been refused does the relationship change.
Notice what this isn't: it's not gossip. You don't skip to the church stage. It's not passive aggression. You don't just withdraw and hope they figure it out. It's not cancellation. You don't publicly shame them on the first offense. It's a structured, escalating process designed to maximize the chance of restoration before any separation happens.
"As an heathen man and a publican" — this sounds harsh until you remember how Jesus treated heathens and publicans. He ate with them. He sought them out. He was accused of being their friend. The category isn't "person beyond hope." It's "person I need to approach differently now." The relationship changes, but the love doesn't stop.
The person who refuses every attempt at reconciliation hasn't been abandoned. They've exhausted the process that was designed to bring them back. And the community that tried three times has done its work. The door is closed — but it was held open as long as possible.
Have you followed this process? Or have you skipped steps?
Commentary
Trusted original commentary from respected historical Bible scholars and theologians.
For where two or three are gathered together,.... This seems to be said in opposition to a Jewish notion, that a number…
Tell it to the church - See the notes at Mat 16:18. The church may here mean the whole assembly of believers, or it may…
As there never was a greater pattern of humility, so there never was a greater preacher of it, than Christ; he took all…
tell it unto the church The word "church" (Grk. ekklesia) is found only here and ch. Mat 16:18 in the Gospels. In the…
Cross References
Related passages throughout Scripture