“A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.”
My Notes
What Does Proverbs 18:24 Mean?
Solomon makes two observations about friendship. The first half — "a man that hath friends must shew himself friendly" — is actually debated in translation. Some readings suggest it means having many friends leads to ruin, while the KJV reading implies reciprocity: to have friends, you must be a friend.
The second half is the universally powerful statement: there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother. Biological family bonds were the strongest bonds in the ancient world. Solomon says there exists a friendship that exceeds even that — a loyalty deeper than blood.
The word "sticketh" (dabaq) means to cling, to adhere, to be joined tightly. It's the same word used in Genesis 2:24 for a man cleaving to his wife. This friend doesn't just accompany you. They are bonded to you.
Christians have often read the second half as pointing to Christ — the friend who sticks closer than any human relationship can. Whether read as human friendship or divine friendship, the verse celebrates a bond that refuses to let go.
Reflection Questions
- 1.Do you have a friend who 'sticks closer than a brother'? What makes that friendship different from others?
- 2.What does 'showing yourself friendly' look like for you — and what makes it hard?
- 3.How do you read the 'friend who sticketh closer than a brother' — as a human friend, as Christ, or both?
- 4.What's the difference between having many friends and having one who won't leave?
Devotional
There's a difference between having many acquaintances and having one friend who sticks closer than a brother. Most of us have the first. What we ache for is the second.
The kind of friend Solomon describes isn't just someone who shows up when it's convenient. They cling. They adhere. When everything falls apart and the reasonable thing would be to walk away, they're still there. That kind of friendship is rare enough to be worth writing about three thousand years later.
To have friends, you must show yourself friendly. That's the setup. Friendship isn't a spectator sport. You can't wait for someone to pursue you while you stay guarded and closed. Vulnerability is the cost of admission. You have to open the door first.
But the real promise is that somewhere in the world — or beyond it — there is a friend who won't leave. Closer than a brother. Bound to you with a bond that doesn't loosen when things get hard.
If you've experienced that in a human friendship, you know how life-changing it is. If you haven't, it might be because you haven't shown yourself friendly yet. Or it might be time to recognize that the friend who sticks closest has been with you all along.
Commentary
Trusted original commentary from respected historical Bible scholars and theologians.
A man that hath friends must show himself friendly,.... Friendship ought to be mutual and reciprocal, as between David…
Better, “A man of many companions is so to his own destruction, but there is a friend (the true, loving friend) etc.” It…
Solomon here recommends friendship to us, and shows, 1. What we must do that we may contract and cultivate friendship;…
A man that hath friends Lit. a man of friends, i.e. one who makes many friends, R.V.; makes them too easily and…
Cross References
Related passages throughout Scripture