“He that goeth about as a talebearer revealeth secrets: therefore meddle not with him that flattereth with his lips.”
My Notes
What Does Proverbs 20:19 Mean?
"He that goeth about as a talebearer revealeth secrets: therefore meddle not with him that flattereth with his lips." Solomon connects two behaviors that often travel together: tale-bearing and flattery. The talebearer (rakil — a gossip, a peddler of information) reveals secrets — they traffic in private information for social currency. The flatterer (pathah — to open wide, to entice) uses smooth, expansive speech to draw you in. The connection: the person who flatters you to your face is often the person who gossips about you behind your back.
The practical advice is "meddle not" — don't get involved. Don't befriend the flatterer. Don't share secrets with them. Because whatever you tell them in private will be peddled publicly.
Reflection Questions
- 1.Who in your life flatters you to your face and might be revealing your secrets behind your back?
- 2.How do you identify the talebearer-flatterer — and what's the warning sign?
- 3.What test do you apply before sharing vulnerable information with someone?
- 4.When has trusting a flatterer cost you because they turned out to be a gossip?
Devotional
The flatterer is the gossip. Solomon draws a straight line between the person who says beautiful things to your face and the person who reveals your secrets to everyone else. Same person. Different audiences.
The talebearer goes about — they move through social circles, collecting information like a merchant collects goods, and then selling it wherever there's a buyer. Private conversations become public currency. Your vulnerability becomes their social leverage. They reveal secrets not because they're malicious (though some are) but because secrets are valuable, and trading them buys social standing.
The flatterer opens wide with their lips — expansive, generous, over-the-top affirmation designed to make you feel safe. Safe enough to share. Safe enough to be vulnerable. Safe enough to say the thing you normally wouldn't say to anyone. And then: the flattering lips and the tale-bearing feet belong to the same person. What the lips drew out, the feet carry to everyone else.
Meddle not. Don't get involved. Don't befriend this person. Don't share anything with someone whose primary social tool is making you feel special. Because the specialness is the bait. The sharing is the hook. And the tale-bearing is the catch.
The test is simple: does this person share other people's secrets with you? Then they're sharing your secrets with other people. The person who tells you someone else's private business will tell someone else your private business. The gossip is never just a gossip about other people. You're on the circuit too.
The flatterer's lips are the warning sign. When someone works too hard to make you feel safe, ask: why? What do they want me to reveal? And where will it go when I do?
Commentary
Trusted original commentary from respected historical Bible scholars and theologians.
He that goeth about as a talebearer revealeth secrets,.... Or, "he that revealeth secrets goeth about as a talebearer";…
Flattereth - literally, “The man who opens his lips,” who has no reticence; such a man, with or without intending it,…
Two sorts of people are dangerous to be conversed with: - 1. Tale-bearers, though they are commonly flatterers, and by…
flatterethwith] Rather, openeth wide, R.V.; dilatat labia sua, Vulg.; has his mouth always open as a tattling gossip.…
Cross References
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