“My lovers and my friends stand aloof from my sore; and my kinsmen stand afar off.”
My Notes
What Does Psalms 38:11 Mean?
David describes the social abandonment that accompanies his suffering: "My lovers and my friends stand aloof from my sore; and my kinsmen stand afar off." Three categories of relationship — lovers (intimate partners), friends (companions), and kinsmen (family) — all withdraw. The abandonment is comprehensive: every level of human connection pulls back.
The word "aloof" (neged — opposite, at a distance, standing off) and "afar off" (merachoq — from a distance, remotely) describe increasing distance. The friends stand opposite (present but detached). The kinsmen stand far off (barely visible). The closer the original relationship, the more painful the distance.
The "sore" (nega — plague, affliction, wound) that causes the withdrawal echoes Leviticus 13's terminology for skin disease that renders a person ritually unclean. David's suffering has made him socially untouchable. The people who should be closest are the ones most repelled. The wound that needs comfort instead produces avoidance.
Reflection Questions
- 1.Which level of relationship (intimate, friend, family) withdrawing during suffering hurts most?
- 2.How does the 'sore' (affliction that repels rather than attracts comfort) function as an isolation mechanism?
- 3.How does Jesus' experience at the crucifixion (all fled) fulfill this verse?
- 4.Who has stood aloof from your suffering — and who has stayed close despite the affliction?
Devotional
Friends stand opposite. Family stands far off. Everyone who should be closest during suffering pulls back. David's affliction hasn't just attacked his body — it's emptied his room. The people who should be at the bedside are at the door. Or the hallway. Or gone.
The three categories — lovers, friends, kinsmen — represent every level of human relationship. Intimate partners. Daily companions. Blood relatives. All three withdraw. Nobody stays close. The comprehensive abandonment means David's suffering is endured without a single human presence willing to be near the wound.
The distance vocabulary escalates: friends stand 'aloof' (opposite — present but across the room, looking without touching). Kinsmen stand 'afar off' (distant — barely visible, almost gone). The people who were closest before the suffering are furthest during it. The relationship hierarchy inverts under the pressure of the affliction.
The 'sore' (nega — the same word for a leprous affliction in Leviticus 13) explains the withdrawal: David's suffering makes him socially toxic. The wound that needs human comfort instead repels human contact. The sickness becomes its own isolation mechanism — you need people most when your condition drives people away most.
Jesus fulfills this verse precisely: at the crucifixion, the disciples flee (Matthew 26:56), Peter denies (Matthew 26:69-75), and Jesus dies surrounded by enemies rather than friends. The psalm that describes lovers, friends, and kinsmen withdrawing from the sufferer's sore is the psalm the suffering Messiah inhabits.
If you've experienced the double suffering of affliction plus abandonment — the wound AND the empty room — David's psalm validates the experience without sugarcoating it. The people left. The sore drove them away. And the God who inspired this psalm is the one who stays when the room empties.
Who has stood aloof from your sore — and who stayed?
Commentary
Trusted original commentary from respected historical Bible scholars and theologians.
They also that seek after my life,.... His avowed and implacable enemies, whom nothing would satisfy but the taking away…
My lovers - See the notes at Psa 31:11. The reference here is to those who professed to be his friends. And my friends -…
The title of this psalm is very observable; it is a psalm to bring to remembrance; the 70th psalm, which was likewise…
from my sore R.V. from my plague. The word is specially used of the plague of leprosy (Lev 13:3, &c.). His friends treat…
Cross References
Related passages throughout Scripture